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BACK Bill R's AA testimonial, I was led to AA by a fellow NYC bartender in AA, who felt I had a problem with alcohol. We'd worked together for eight years and he knew my story before I knew my story. We met on the great lawn in Central Park on a warm, early December afternoon in 1997. He gave me the Big Book and we went to a meeting in the Upper East Side. I thought everyone at the meeting was nuts and I wasn't an alcoholic. To prove my point, I vowed to stop drinking during the Holiday season. I couldn't stop. "Tonight I won't drink ! " is what I said before work, but by the end of the bar tending shift I was drunk. I started stealing bottles of vodka and money from the bar. I drank all of Dec., Jan., and Feb. My AA bartender friend asked if I was ready for AA again. I said " No Way ! ". We worked together that night behind the bar. I asked him to make me shots during the shift. " You line them up and I'll knock them back ! " . And he did. After the shift, I passed out in the coatroom and slept the drunk off at the bar. We had to work together again the next afternoon, I was shattered. He asked me again," Now are you ready for AA? " My answer was yes. I started to attend meetings in Manhattan. I had to look in the mirror every morning and practice to say" Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic." This was so hard for me to say. Sometimes I couldn't say it and I'd cry or I'd cry saying it. It was the hardest part of AA for me. I knew I'd be giving up a major part of my life. Alcohol plays a large role in my family in Boston. My grandparents were alcoholic and mostly all of their 11 children and more than half of their 28 grandchildren are alcoholic. But when I got over that hurdle and when some of the cobwebs lifted out of my brain. I could say, " Hi, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic." with great ease. I started to attend meetings regularly in Princeton NJ, and I read the Big Book and worked the steps. I made a men's meeting my home group. I got a huge amount of support for those guys. I listened to their suggestions. It's been a great ride. I hope to share more about my experiences, strength, and hope from AA. Thanks, Bill R. |
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