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BACK My name is Donna S. and I am an alcoholic. Addiction is the disease of more. More means now is not enough. So you reach into your future to grab more and still you come up short. Then you reach once again into your future and try to grab even more. Your past is painfully filled with less. Amazingly it is less than the reality and just never enough to get by on in the present. The spiritual principles of my recovery program have taught me the importance of gratitude and staying in the present. With the substance removed and the physiologic craving curbed, I am still an alcoholic. I don't think like people that don't suffer from the disease of addiction. Something is wrong with my thinking. Putting down the substance was just the first step in my recovery, albeit essential. With the substance removed I had to redefine my relationship with my Higher Power. Prayer and meditation became one of my greatest defenses against my disease. My mantra became “Your will, not mine be done.” That relieved a tremendous amount of pressure from me. I realized I no longer had to have all the answers. Reliance on my Higher Power took away the disease of more. He made me realize that what I had was enough. It was always enough. I just couldn't see it for what it was because I was only in relationship with me, a sick and suffering alcoholic. Enter my Higher Power and therefore gratitude. I maintain a conscious contact with my Higher Power throughout the day. I often fall short, but the pain of those experiences causes me to race back for His guidance. At the end of the day, I go over my list of shortcomings with Him and come up with a game plan on how I can improve myself. What's the game plan? A simple prayer…”Please help me to know Your will in my life and help me to be the best Donna I can be tomorrow”. Simple isn't it? Funny how that's enough and I don't need more than that today. Without prayer and meditation in my recovery, I am less and wanting more. When I am maintaining a conscious contact with my Higher Power, I have all I need and I am grateful. Life is beautiful! I wish you a beautiful recovery as well! |
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