 Prayer Beads And Recovery Jewelry Made Exclusively For The Twelve Step Community SHOPS {PRAYER BEADS {JEWELRY |
||
|
{ ABOUT GWEN R. { ABOUT PRAYER BEADS { ADDICTIONS { CONTACT { HELP { LINKS { PRAYERS { STORIES { TWELVEBEADS SITES { USE OF PRAYER BEADS TWELVEBEADS PROUDLY SUPPORTS { SoberMusicians { SoberSources { TheSoberVillage { SoberTeensOnline ©GwenR2008 TwelveBeads is not affiliated with any twelve step program TwelveBeads Birth Date 9-24-2005 |
BACK Hi, my name is Jeff & I AM an Alcoholic! Where do I begin….The Womb….The 1st Drink….The 1st Drunk? Well, I guess I better keep it short here. To start with, my Sobriety date is August 16th, 1990. I Grew up in a Middle Class family where part of my early problems were abuse & neglect. By age 8 I was pretty much alone, getting myself up, getting myself to & from school and taking care of myself until night time. What life lessons I learned I learned on the streets. I Now consider them ‘Survival Skills’ & it’s what probably kept me alive while I was still out there. I needed Steps 6 & 7 later on to deal with these. I also started working around that age. You see my father owned Restaurants and I learned the ‘Hard Work Ethic’ from an early age, being a Deliver Boy & washing dishes. The 1st real drunk I experienced was as a teenager, my friends & I conned some older kid to buy us 2 gallons of Thunderbird Wine. The cheapest Swill you can scrounge change up for, a fine white wine that can be drank cold or warm straight from the brown paper bag, you can guess how we drank it. My half dozen friends began drinking the 1st gallon while I began drinking the 2nd. Me share, not a chance, “it’s all mine!”? Well I don’t think I need to tell you how sick I was doing that, they thought I was going to die, shaking & sweating away, upchucking for hours. A normal person might have learned a lesson from that night, but yep…….you know better. I continued through High School drinking in the back parking lot at 7-8 a.m. before school while the other kids smoked their weed. I somehow made it out of H.S. & managed to get in to college. When I went away to college & was out of the family environment I was able to let loose (as if I haven’t already), no one watching over me, ahhh the 1st taste of Freedom. I was one of those males that needed to Conquer, and the 3 main things I needed to conquer, acquire, command, control, etc. was Power, Money & Women. I heard someone once tell it that we had to prove we had the biggest Fist, the biggest Wallet & the biggest (well, you can guess the other one). So my 1st conquest was sex. My 1st year away I managed to sleep with around 100 women and like the drink, wasn’t enough, but it chilled the romance obsession for awhile. During the summers, to make money for school, I owned & operated my own small seasonal restaurants. Because I learned the business from an early age I had my own 1st one at age 17 & my 2nd by age 20. Thereby striving for my 2nd conquest of Money. At that time I was making more money than anyone I knew my age. I was working 7 days a week 100 hours per week, and I still managed to get my partying in, and I did while only sleeping 3-4 hours per night. What can I say, I was young then. When I somehow managed to graduate from college, having more experience than anyone else my age I had offers from every major food & beverage companies in the country. My favorite was from one of the top 10 Nightclubs in the country in Atlanta, GA. Managing the Club was just the beginning of the 3rd conquest of Power. I was known in the business throughout the city, and if you wanted to get into my Club you had to talk to one of us, whether Millionaire, Personality or common guy. And when I went to anyone else’s Club I got the Star treatment. Brought to the front of the lines, given open tabs & preferential treatment. I was introduced to ‘After Hours Clubs’ and Parties there where we drank $150 bottles of Dom Perignon with free flowing cocaine. Eventually I was fired from that job by getting drunk & telling the owner’s right hand man off. That set off a binge that ended with 2 DUI’s, 2 cracked up cars and a Georgia Judge suggesting I leave the State & not come back. I came back home to N.J. where again I was able to get any job in the industry I wanted, so it was off to conquer the Big Apple. I interviewed with all the top Restaurants in the City, like Windows on the World, the Russian Tea Room, the Rainbow Room, etc. After awhile I was getting burnt out & decided to get out of management & to just take something with not as much responsibilities, and that kicked off my Bartending years. I still didn’t have my ‘Power’ issue satisfied yet. I began using Drugs more & really fell in love with the ‘ole Nose Candy….the White Powder. I over time became involved with some powerful people in the Drug business, for some reason they believed in me & gained trust in me. They thought I was savvy & had a sense of business. Eventually I was privy to many things, like when shipments came in to the East Coast from S. America, the times, the routes & how it made it up to even Wall St. The Power came in people coming to me to make a connection for Product. It was during this time that a brief encounter with a young lady that my Son was born. I had to stay away, the people I was hanging around with I didn’t want to know I had a child, just in case it could be used against me. Plus what Alcoholic likes responsibility anyway? It was Crazy Dangerous times, and I still got off on it. Eventually I had to get out of town, away from the Insanity. I had warrants out for my arrest, people & companies looking for me for money owed. I ran to Washington, D.C. where I knew the town & didn’t need a car or license. It was there that I came to the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. When I came into the Program that Hot summer day in August 1990, I was sick as a dog physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually in every way. I barely had a P/T job, was being sued for almost a half million dollars, being evicted from my apt., looking at jail time, no money, no food, no life, Nothing, bankrupt in every way. On August 16th I, for the 1st time in my life, found the Home & People I was longing for for almost 30 yrs. It was the 1st time in my life I couldn’t say, “You don’t know how I feel!”, “You don’t know what it’s like!”. What a Relief it finally was! Through working this Program & listening to the people who were successful before me I have not found a reason to pick up a drink or drug since. Through this Program, a Higher Power & all of you reading this I was able to watch my Son grow up, have a new career, my family back, a home, a vacation, no warrants, more true friends then I have hours in the day for, whom love me for who I am & not for what I can do for them. Today I have piece of mind, a conscious, a heart, spirituality, and more than I could ever mention here. And for this I thank each & every one of you, for without you I’d have nothing & probably wouldn’t be alive. Jeff R. |
|
