 Prayer Beads And Recovery Jewelry Made Exclusively For The Twelve Step Community SHOPS {PRAYER BEADS {JEWELRY |
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{ ABOUT PRAYER BEADS { ADDICTIONS { CONTACT { HELP { LINKS { PRAYERS { STORIES { USE OF PRAYER BEADS TWELVEBEADS PROUDLY SUPPORTS { SoberMusicians { SoberSources { TheSoberVillage { SoberTeensOnline { MillionDollarRecovery ©GwenR2008 TwelveBeads is not affiliated with any twelve step program TwelveBeads Birth Date 9-24-2005 |
BACK MY SPIRITUAL AWAKENING By Lisa J. It’s always preached in recovery circles to remember you last drunk. I don’t really remember my last drunk, but I will always remember my last bout with the DT’s (Delirium Tremens or Withdrawals). It was truly the turning point of my life. I have had two previous near-death experiences from drinking, but in those instances, my blood sugar dropped and I would have simply passed out and drifted away quietly. I managed to survive, but I still didn’t take to heart the hint God was giving me. This last time and I mean LAST TIME was totally different. I was sick this time, very sick. This Time God wanted to make sure there was no mistake in the signal He was sending me. It was like He was telling me - I’m not gonna let you slip away quietly. This Time you are going to know what it’s like to fight for your next (maybe last) breath. And it is going to be ugly. I remember I was lying on the bathroom floor doing the whole withdrawal thing (shaking, puking, sweating). Then the respiratory distress set in. I gasped and struggled for each breath. It was pure Hell and a violent battle. It went on through the night and I did stop breathing a couple of times. Hmmmmmmm, then the thought finally occurred to me that hey, I’m not really ready to leave this world yet. I mean, what a way to die - right there on the bathroom floor clutching a towel like it was a life preserver. How noble and glamorous, right? At some point I said out loud - point taken God, the drinking thing isn’t working out for me. Steps 1, 2 and 3 completed all at once. I admitted I was completely powerless over alcohol, I believed there was a Power greater than myself that could bring me back to life and I felt that I was done with everything - God could have it - all of that mess. Obviously, I survived that night. My breathing got easier and the other symptoms stopped. Two nights later, I was sleeping well which is unusual for me. For no reason, I suddenly sat up with an indescribable pain in my chest. It felt like something, or someone was ripping my heart out. I guess it really wasn’t a physical pain, just a very deep pain. Oh wow, and I was crying, no, sobbing like I’ve never experienced EVER before. Then it dawned on me - I was completely surrendering to God. His turn to take over. I didn’t do such a great job on my own. I’ve always been a Christian in my mind, but not in my heart - if that makes sense. Now, I have it! I finally got it! That was the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever had. It ranks right up there with the “high” after childbirth. I came to terms with myself and felt totally at peace. I know I will never be able to capture that same wonderful feeling again, but I will try to come as close as I can through daily meditation and prayer. I would like to share just one more personal thing. Someone once asked me what do you think God is going to say to you when you are faced with Him? You know what? I think he’s going to say, yeah Lisa you screwed up big time, but I Love You Anyway! Lots of Love To Those Still Struggling With The Demon of Addiction - No One Is Alone Out There! No Matter How Bad You Feel, You Are A Surviving Miracle! God Bless Always! Lisa J. Englewood, Florida Stop by and visit Lisa J's blog. Through A Spiritual Awakening, We Can Trade Our Old Life - The One That Didn’t Work For Us. We Can Trade It For A New Life That Works Under All Conditions (This was taken from a quote by Bill W.) |
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